bridesmaids with bride drinking champagne with maid of honour

How to Write a Maid of Honour Speech

You organise her hen party, find her the perfect wedding dress and set up a hugely successful bridesmaids WhatsApp group. And now she wants you to deliver a speech?!

The maid of honour speech is a fairly modern tradition, but one we are so in favour of! Why should it just be the men who do all the toasting, we have plenty of people to thank and congratulate too! However, if your personality is on the shy side, the thought of delivering a maid of honour speech maybe one of the less exciting duties given to you. That’s fair. It’s a big moment, one that involves you standing up in front of a room full of people and, talking. That’s not easy! Especially when you’re expected to sum up how much you love your best mate, congratulate them and say thank you to everyone attending – all within 2-3 mins! Pressure!

But don’t worry, these days there’s no need to write your maid of honour speech alone. There’s a whole digital world out there ready and waiting to help you.

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The maid of honour speech should be a doddle if you’re comfortable speaking in front of a crowd, or passed your drama AS level with flying colours. However, even if giving the speech isn’t a concern for you, figuring out what to write a maid of honour toast about is. It’s a big occasion for both you and the bride, one that should be memorable for all the right reasons.

How to Write a Maid of Honour Speech

How to prepare the best maid of honour speech a bride has ever heard, and deal with your nerves? We’ve got you bridesmaids!

Begin Talking About Your Bride, and End By Speaking About the Couple

You are blessed with all the insight into how much your best mate’s spouse has transformed them for the better. So share that with the wedding guests.

Your maid of honour speech should begin by referencing the friend you knew long before they meet their soulmate. Before moving onto how their role has affected your lives, for the better. Perhaps your friend is funnier today, more adventurous, or simply just happy. Compliment the (always will be) new member of your friendship group, and share how their relationship has made them both better people.

Tell a Story, a Short One

Nothing proves a point better than a personal anecdote. When writing your maid of honour speech, try to think of certain times during your friendship that show just how amazing your bride is. And try to make it coherent within the whole of your speech.

By telling personal stories from your time together, you’ll avoid sharing tired clichés, and instead illustrate just how good a friend they actually are.

bridesmaids toasting with bride

Keep it Light

Don’t mention any exes (however amazing you thought they were), avoid personal tragedies, and try not to roast your friend. It can seem tempting to really use this opportunity to have a laugh at your mate’s expense, but this isn’t the time. Keep things positive, light and overwhelmingly loving!

And Short!

This is not a Shakespearean soliloquy, and right now, the world is not your stage. This is your maid of honour speech, and you need to fit your talking time in with everyone else’s. You’re one of many people giving a speech this afternoon, and you need to fit within the schedule.

If you’re comfortable with public speaking, then you’ll want to talk and talk. But your confidence in yourself doesn’t mean the gathered guests want to hear you. They’ll soon lose interest if each toast lasts longer than 5 minutes.

Aim for 3 minutes, that should allow enough time for laughter pauses and maybe the odd ad-lib.

Practice Your Maid of Honour Speech!

Don’t wing it, please. Practice your maid of honour speech in the weeks leading up to the wedding as many times as possible. Read it in front of the mirror, record yourself reciting it, and get your friends to listen to it.

There’s no need to know if off by heart, but you should feel comfortable just glancing at keywords or phrases on cue cards. The more you rehearse, the more likely you’ll nail every funny anecdote and encourage even more tears from your bride!

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Maid of Honour Duties – What Am I Expected to do?

With great power comes great responsibility, and as MOH you’ll be given some pretty big responsibilities on the big day.

Congrats! Your best mate in the world has selected you to be her maid of honour! That is a major privilege, and one that must be taken seriously. Because there’s more to Maid of Honour duties than organising the hen party, or simply bossing the other bridesmaids about. You’ve been given the leading role in your friend’s biggest day, and with that comes unexpected responsibilities.

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These days, a maid of honour can be called many things. ‘Chief bridesmaid’, ‘matron of honour’ or even ‘best woman’. But however you are named, the maid of honour duties remain the same. And this extends further than simply helping out on the wedding day, you’ll be involved in the planning too. And this is such a fun and exciting time, one that you’ll be able to play a significant part in.

From organising the bridesmaids and advising on the best wedding dress, to giving a maid of honour speech and being armed with tissues at all times, your duties are varied, but always important.

Ready and armed with a notepad, pen and corkscrew? Answer your burning questions below, and get the low-down on how to be the best maid of honour with our go-to duties guide and tips on everything you need to know. 

What is the Difference Between the Maid of Honour and Bridesmaid?

A maid of honour and bridesmaid are both very important roles, but typically the maid of honour has more responsibilities than a bridesmaid. A bridesmaid is expected to attend the wedding, look amazing and assist where needed on the big day. Whereas the maid of honour is an integral part in the lead up to and planning of the wedding day itself.

What’s a Married Maid of Honour Called?

Traditionally, if the maid of honour is not married, they are called a ‘chief bridesmaid’ or ‘maid of honour’. If they are married, then they’re called a ‘matron of honour’. There is no difference between the duties and responsibilities of a maid of honour or a matron of honour, however the advantage of having someone who has already been married before is that they’ll have prior experience of planning a wedding.

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Why is it Called a Maid of Honour?

The term ‘maid of honour’ comes from the tradition of a maiden, a woman who has never been married, whose duty or ‘honour’ was to attend to a Queen or Princess. The actual role can also be traced back to the Ancient Romans, who believed that evil spirits haunted weddings. To protect the couple, 10 witnesses – including the maid of honour – were required to dress in the same clothing as the couple to confuse the spirits. The maid of honour would stick by the bride, and protect her from any spirits who might steal her away before the ceremony. Thankfully, your maid of honour duties are slightly less stressful these days… normally!

Maid of Honour Duties Explained

Before the Big Day

1. Go Wedding Dress Shopping

Finding the perfect wedding dress is perhaps one of the most exciting events during planning, but it can also be stressful which is why the maid of honour should be on hand to help the bride say ‘yes’ to their dream dress.

The bride might ask you to come wedding dress shopping with her, or ask for input on choosing the bridesmaid dresses.

As the maid of honour, you’re leading the rest of the maids, so make sure they’re all organised. Do your best to gather the troops for dress shopping sessions and for fittings. Take some further stress off the bride by planning the itinerary for any dress shopping trip, look for a fun place to go for lunch or celebratory drinks once you’ve all got your gowns.

It’s traditional for the bride to pay for the bridesmaid dresses, however this isn’t always the case. Make sure this is discussed – as well as accessories, professional hair and makeup – to save any awkwardness further down the line.

2. Organise the Other Bridesmaids

As the wedding date fast approaches, make sure the bridesmaids know what time they need to arrive, where everyone is getting ready and if they need to bring anything.

If the bridesmaids don’t all know each other, it’s a good idea to connect everyone on a group chat. That way everyone will be on friendly terms by the time the hen party comes around. You could even go as far getting them all together for a meet-up pre-hen party, that way they’ll be totally comfortable with each.

Also, think about useful things to have on hand – such as large umbrellas to help in case of bad weather. It’s also a nice idea to put together a bridal emergency kit for the bride. You never know when you might need tissues or plasters!

maid of honour duties in jenny yoo bridesmaid dress

3. Plan the Hen Party

The maid of honour’s real moment in the sun is the hen party. You will take the lead in organising this, so put some serious thought into it. Speak with all of the bridesmaids, ask for ideas and consult the bride to find out whom she’d like to attend.

It might be that you need to arrange two celebrations: a hen party for the girls (and boys) and a more mature, bridal shower style celebration for the bride’s mum and older relatives. Rather than asking people what dates they can do, pick two or three and ask who can make which date. This is a slightly harsher approach, but it’ll make it easier to narrow it down to just one weekend.

Make sure you’re very aware of everyone’s budget. Don’t assume everyone can, or wants to spend as much as you. They may not all have the funds for a weekend in Ibiza, so plan something that is inclusive of all budgets.

The hen party should take place up to three months before the wedding, this gives time for any bruises to fade (seriously), and for people to recover from their hangovers!

4. Help with Wedding Planning

You may be the bride’s sounding board for lots of ideas, so be prepared to consult on everything, from wedding colour schemes to the shape of the cake. The maid of honour can also help with more hands-on wedding tasks. Such as writing or addressing wedding invitations, making DIY confetti cones or assembling favours. Fun idea? Organise a DIY craft night complete with the bride’s favourite snacks and drinks.

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4. Be Their Rock

You know the bride better than anyone else, so the maid of honour should be there every step of the way. But remember to be supportive without being too much for the bride.

While your main responsibility is to help with the planning, ensure you’re still pencilling in some fun too. A relaxing afternoon getting your nails done, or a de-stressing night out will be just what the bride-to-be needs!

Think that’s it? We haven’t even got to the day before the wedding yet! Bookmark our blog, and we’ll have the rest of your Maid of Honour duties explained soon!

Polly & the girls xx

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