Everyone will tell you it’s normal to be nervous on your wedding day, but don’t let those worries get the better of you.
It’s easy to become swept up in the frenzy of wedding planing. You’re preparing for the best day of your lives after all! But what if it falls short of your expectations? What if the catering fails? What if Uncle Tony drinks a few too many before the toasts and begins telling that particular childhood story? What if no one shows up? Oh, no… There are so many ways we can tie ourselves in knots, and create pre-wedding nerves without even realising it. Constantly questioning, ‘what if…?’.
Before you realise it, you’re in a downward spiral of worry, pre-wedding nerves are taking over, and tension is mounting. Then, when the day finally arrives, you’re entirely psychologically unprepared for it, inundated with the unanticipated emotion that it brings, and have no way of dealing with it properly. But this doesn’t have to be the case.
Talk of real pre-wedding nerves, or even depression, is often played off as just ‘jitters’. But for many couples (not just brides), the months and weeks leading up to a wedding can be really tough, and the feelings this period brings can ruin what should be an almost blissful process.
Wedding-day anxiety is entirely normal, and there are some simple things you can do to make yourself feel a whole lot better, and more productive (if you want to be). To help you navigate your feelings at this extraordinary time, we’ve compiled our top 6 tips for dealing with pre-wedding nerves. Advice that’ll hopefully help you avoid any big day demons, and prepare you for the madness of your wedding day.
Is it ‘Normal’ to Have Pre-wedding Anxiety?
It is completely natural to feel blue before your wedding. You’re making a move that will transform your life, and with that comes a lot of fresh emotions. Emotions that can be hard to comprehend without frank discussion, and time to process.
Feeling unhappy before your wedding doesn’t indicate that you’re having concerns, but rather you are overwhelmed by the amount of effort required to arrange such a big occasion. Especially if you’re not used to putting together something of this scale.
Wedding celebrations are typically filled with excitement; therefore it might be difficult to comprehend why a person could feel gloomy before their wedding day. Leading you, or others around you, to constantly question how you’re feeling. Often creating an unwanted spiral of negative thoughts.
How to Lessen Pre-wedding Nerves
There will be fears that are fleeting, nerves that just take a moment to pass. But it’s not always easy to understand this at first if you’ve never had to deal with such complex feelings or events unfolding. To stop something small from becoming something larger, follow these steps, and you’ll be able to better deal with your pesky pre-wedding nerves.
Your Feelings are Real
Wedding anxiety is a normal part of the process. You’re not the only one who’s felt this way, and you’re not alone. If anyone tries to brush aside your fears, and tell you it’s nothing, they’re not helping. Your emotions are entirely valid, and they can’t be erased by someone’s thoughts on them.
Recognise your feelings, know they are real, and you’ll be better able to deal with them.
Trust Your Circle
You’ve already assigned large and minor duties to suppliers, family, and friends; now it’s time to trust them to deliver. These delegated duties have been designated because you believe in those individuals. So use this faith and don’t be concerned about what you’re no longer in charge of.
Share How You Feel
Sounds cliché, but bottling up your feelings never works. It may sometimes feel like it’s working as a short-term fix. But eventually that emotional dam will fall, and you’ll be in a much worse place than if you’d just talked.
Being honest and upfront is one of the most powerful strategies to handle stress. Tell a family member or friend how you’re feeling and talk it out. These kinds of honest conversations can be a really useful way to get another viewpoint, or an opportunity to laugh and relieve the stress of how you’re feeling.
If you don’t have someone right now you feel you can talk to in an honest and open way, talk to a professional. Therapy is no longer a taboo word and does not mean you have an issue. You’re just talking to someone who can professionally guide you in the same way we’ll guide you in finding the perfect bridesmaids dresses! We joke, but honestly, a couple of therapy sessions before the big day can help to eliminate plenty of fears. And may end up becoming a part of your routine going forward, post-wedding.
Say Yes To Help
As the wedding approaches, choose a friend or family member you trust, and delegate tasks such as collecting estimates from hair and make-up professionals, setting up decorations, or conducting final checks with suppliers the week before the wedding. Your loved ones will most likely be touched that you want their help, and will be only too pleased to be of assistance.
However, if not doing these tasks yourself stresses you out even more, don’t feel obligated to accept every offer of assistance.
Don’t Go DIY Crazy
It can seem tempting to recreate every single thing you’ve seen on Pinterest. But it’s important to know where to draw the line. Not every element needs to be handmade, and if you’re attempting to cut costs by doing things yourself, is it worth it if it’s affecting your health?
Create some realistic goals, set yourself daily or weekly amounts of time to work on projects, and resist letting a DIY wedding decor job take over your personal life.
Spend Time with Your Partner
When experiencing anxiousness, it’s likely you’ll feel some pretty intense emotions, which could impact on your relationship. Unless your partner is made of stone, they can probably feel your pre-wedding nerves, and may be concerned you’re getting cold feet.
Plan regular dates with your future spouse where wedding talk is prohibited, and enjoy just being engaged again. And unless they ask about whether you still want to tie the knot, there’s no need to be direct, just make them aware that your anxiety is not because of them.
We hope we have helped you to deal with your wedding anxiety, and maybe set you on a healthier path going forward. Obviously, one blog post cannot solve all pre-wedding nerves. And if you feel you seriously need some help while planning your wedding, or after the big day, you should never hesitate in seeking it.
If you’re in need of someone professional to talk to, and are worried about the financial side of things, take a look at this blog post from Mind. In it, there is lots of information on how to find therapy in London for free, and privately.