There are a few convo’s you should probably avoid if you want a relaxed, fun wedding, and journey to it. Here’s the big 7 things you probably shouldn’t say to your bridesmaids.
Being a bridesmaid is pretty exciting, there’s no doubt. You get all the fun of the wedding, but without the massive invoice at the end. And if you’re lucky, your bride shopped at Nabbd, so you get to wear a stunning dress too! However, ‘the bridesmaid’ is an important job, one that comes with responsibilities, and certain pressures. And even the most chilled loved one can crack under this pressure if their buttons are pressed. After all, apart from that week you girls spent in Zante back in 2018, this wedding is probably the biggest thing you’ve planned together. And so, it’s hard to know how each other will cope with the situation. But there are certain things you should never say to any bridesmaids, however calm they seem to be on the exterior.
Obviously, it’s not just the bridesmaids who are liable to burst a blood vessel right now. Wedding planning can make any engaged person go a little crazy from time to time. And your bridesmaids will be there to ride the roller-coaster with you. But our advice? Treat them the way you would want to be treated, even when planning gets tough.
Here are 7 things you should avoid saying to your bridesmaids if you want to get this wedding over the line smoothly.
Things You Should Never Say to Your Bridesmaids
“It’s time to start dieting!“
When choosing your bridesmaids, if you wanted them all to look like supermodels, you should’ve got in touch with an agency, not your best friends. You should never suggest someone changes their body type. It’s insensitive, rude and hugely unempathetic. If your bridesmaids want to lose a few pounds before the big day, then support them. But don’t encourage them without prior knowledge of their intentions.
“I’d like to fly first-class to New York for the hen party“
Firstly, it’s normally the job of the Maid of Honour, or the bridesmaids, to actually plan the hen party as a surprise. So don’t rob them of their chance to plan something special for you.
Secondly, be aware that not everyone’s financial circumstances are the same as yours. There may be some members of your group who can’t afford a hen party abroad, or are struggling to even pay to be a part of your wedding. Don’t burden them with guilt, or fresh debt by almost forcing them to either attend a fancy party, or turn it down. Make sure your maid of honour is transparent with your bridal party about financials from the start, and that everyone is happy and on the same page.
“You can’t look too good on my wedding day, you’ll upstage me”
You are the bride. As gig’s go, there’s not much bigger than that. And unless your bridesmaid is Taylor Swift, it’s pretty unlikely they’re going to upstage you. However good they look in their Jenny Yoo gown!
“I’m going to need your help every weekend until the wedding, in 3 months time.”
Your bridesmaids will absolutely want to help out with planning your wedding, but you need to realize they have their lives too. If your need for help outweighs your reasonable friend resources, you may need to hire a wedding planner. Rather than force your closest friends into a weekend slavery.
“That tattoo will need to be covered up”
Well before the big day, you knew your maid of honour had a giant Peaky Blinders tattoo right across her back. But now as you become mildly obsessed with matching your wedding to those you’ve seen on social media, do you now have a problem with it. That’s not nice. Accept the members of your bridal party as they are.
Unless she got that thing after you asked her, then feel free to talk to her about maybe covering it up, and buying her the special makeup.
“I know you’ve got double D’s, but all the bridesmaids are going to wear this transparent, backless gown”
If you do not consider the body types of your bridesmaids, it will not only upset them, but you won’t get the stunning wedding photos you’ve been dreaming of. Dressing for your body type ensures that you’re comfortable and looking good. Ignore this, and your girls are not going to look too pleased.
One of the major benefits of modern bridesmaids, is the ability to mix and match. Therefore, there’s no need for all of your girls to wear the same gown. They can all wear the same colour, or dress within a palette or a fabric. Whatever works for them, and your theme.
“This… is… my… day!”
If you feel like you’re about to say these words, pause, consider and try to rephrase how you feel. Wedding planning is hard, but the only way you’ll get through it is with support. And that support wil not come if you act like a ‘bridezilla’. Treat your bridesmaids with kindness and sensitivity throughout the planning process, and they’ll be there when you need it most.